April 14, 2014
Practicing Resurrection.......Coming to believe in a power greater than ourselves
Step Two: We came to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
So, what about this "Power" that is greater than myself?
And how does one come to believe in that power?
Are they talking about.....God?
I know that people in recovery groups often talk about "not-God", and I think I have an experiential understanding of just what it is to make what is not-God into a god.
Like most human beings, I know what it is like to put activities, people or substances in a position in my life that belongs only to God and wind up serving that which demands more and more of my attention, energy and finally, my life -- to my detriment.
Now and then, it is important for me to think about how much power I have given to things which are "not-God", also known as idols.
other peoples' needs
other peoples' opinions
other peoples' feelings
other peoples' approval
other peoples' preferences
other peoples' bad moods
other peoples' schedules, agendas, etc.
It works like this: Instead of consulting my own needs, wants, etc., I am more tuned in to what other people are needing or wanting, or what I think that they want or need, thereby giving other people authority over my life, which includes my choices, my feelings, my schedule.
Instead of following my own Inner Guidance System or following what I know of God, I allow another's guidance to overtake mine, even if it means that I do something I know is wrong for me, go along with something I don't believe in or concede to a decision that is counter to my best interest.
When I do that, I'm in the throes (stranglehold, grips, iron bars) of codependency. I'm not thinking clearly. I'm not choosing wisely. I am giving away my personal power, and I'm likely going to be full of resentment when I wake up out of my codependent fog and realize that "I've done that thing one more time" that I said I wasn't going to do.